my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
