This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
