the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
