I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You made out with two different species that night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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