also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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