Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize