i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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