I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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