She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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