What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize