I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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