no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I am available for nakedness
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
