The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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