Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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