It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
