I puked a lego.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
