Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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