i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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