Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
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It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
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Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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