you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's blow job season.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
