I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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