Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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