apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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