3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
