I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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