I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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