just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
