Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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