I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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