i permit you to call me
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
