so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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