is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
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I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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