think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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