I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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