If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize