She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Watching her eat just hurts me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
