come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
