ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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