Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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