I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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