I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
