i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize