airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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