Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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