I'm lost and stupid without you.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
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