how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
