Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We need to get me chipped asap
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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