the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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