I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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