and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
