Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Randomize
