Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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