As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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