In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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