Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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