i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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