why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
