what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
