If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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