I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
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Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
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You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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