Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
