I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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