Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
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my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
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i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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