She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
