Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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