Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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