Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
