Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
